Today we decided to go for a regular old Chinese take-away.
We jumped on our online boards and surfed our way over to Justeat.co.uk and had a look at what they had on offer.
Deciding to play it safe we went with Food First, having been there numerous times before. Unfortunately every time we had been there previously we had been on a night out so we only had a vague memory of what to expect.
You can imagine our surprise when we saw that cheeseburgers were on the menu. Chinese cheeseburgers?! WHAT THE ACTUAL F-! When it arrived it felt like Christmas, 'My Chinese double cheese burger is here! YES! HIGH FIVE!'
But alas, just like that time we found out Santa wasn't real, we were full of overwhelming disappointment. It turns out when you order a cheeseburger from a Chinese there is absolutely nothing Chinese about it. At £2.90 each we know where we’ll be going next time we fancy a double cheeseburger. McDonalds.
Thankfully we also ordered the spicy chicken wings with chilli sauce on. Now they were spicy. They had onions and peppers on them that you expect to see on Chinese food (you know the ones that look like compost) and the sauce had a bit of a kick as well. Which is good because they cost £4.50 so if they didn’t burn the taste buds a little bit we’d have felt right ripped off. Oh wait, we did. We also ordered a portion of chips which were the nicest bit of the whole order. They were the soft squidgy ones that you search through the pile of fries for, result. Good with salad cream but they went cold quite fast.
Finally we ordered a 1.5 litre bottle of coke which went flat before we finished it. But we can’t blame Food First for that, that one goes out to Coca Cola.
The whole meal cost us £10.50. Other people ordered food as well but lord knows what they ordered we were far too busy salivating over the idea of a Chinese burger (sigh, it still hurts). There’s also a £2.00 delivery cost which for the quality of the food is absolute extortion.
Recommendation? Go there when drunk, it’s just better that way. We’ll give it 2/5 stars and an overall thumbs down.
By Joe Page